Spider 2 Y Banana

Yes, my beloved Tennessee Volunteers are looking for their third head football coach since we said 'hasta la vista' to Coach Fulmer in 2008.

The last five years on Rocky Top have been rocky, to say the least. I'm going to pretend that 2009 season with He Who Shall Not Be Named at the helm was a bad dream.

Since he slithered out into the night, chasing his 'dream job', the Vols had to fill the headset one more time. I remember that winter day in early 2010 when the Vols hired Derek Dooley, from Louisiana Tech. I had no idea who he was and spent most of the day on Google and wiki to see what in the world he had to offer.

Here's what he had to offer, stability. I thankful for a few things Dooley was able to achieve in his three short years in Knoxville. He embraced tradition. Say what you will, but I love those orange pants. He created the Vol For Life program. He used big words in his interviews. He walked into a jumbled mess of a program. He tried to turn us around.

Sadly, that is where he failed. He was able to get a few sure fire athletes to campus, but for one reason or another, couldn't get them to play 60 minutes of football and get the all important W's. And we all know what counts in college football, especially SEC college football. Just win, baby.

On paper, this was the year I believed the Vols would compete for the SEC Championship. We finally had a healthy, semi-deep roster and a schedule that looked to favor us. I fulled believed we would be undefeated going into the Third Saturday of October. I thought Alabama would be our toughest challenge.

Well, this is what happens when you look at the would through orange colored glasses, you get your heart ripped out and stomped on, multiple times. We started the season 2-0, then came those nasty Gators. We were finally ranked and ESPN brought College Game Day to campus. That should have been my first clue. The ESPN kiss of death.

Let me tell you, that week leading up to the Florida game was one of the best weeks to live in Knoxville, in recent memory. The city was covered in extra orange, everyone was in a better mood and we all had hope. Then the game happened. Neyland Stadium was overflowing and loud, we had waited so long for a game like this...then we got in our own way and the wheels fell off....fast.

What I saw in that game was everything I needed to know. We were never going to win with Derek Dooley at the helm. And after that, the L's started to pile on. We had the best offense we've had in years, but oh my gosh, our defense was bad. I mean real bad. And I love a good solid, smash mouth defense. We had a Swiss Cheese defense. I was not a fan of the Sal Sunseri hire, for Defensive Coordinator. For those that know me, you know who I wanted on the sidelines. Period.

But, I digress, the Derek Dooley era came to a swift end after the Vanderbilt meltdown on November 17, 2012. Athletic Director, Dave Hart made it official on Sunday, November 18th. Now, my Vols were officially on the coaching hunt. Names have been flying around for weeks and for the last month, I've let myself get stuck on one, Jon Gruden. Yes, he has UT ties, all be it slim ties, but ties none the less. And he loves Peyton Manning more than I love Peyton Manning and I named my dog after Peyton Manning. I'm hoping Peyton is calling him every week to breakdown plays.

We have Major Money Men who are tired of losing. I fully believe they will, if they haven't already, open their wallets and make it rain on the new head coach. Will they pay enough for Gruden to walk out of the Monday Night Football booth and onto the sidelines at Neyland?

Guess we'll have to wait and see. But with anything else, Gruden hasn't coached a game since 2008, I think. And coaching at the collegiate level is nothing like coaching in the NFL. Can he connect to and coach these kids? Will he stay long term and build a new dynasty or bolt for the next attractive NFL job?

I don't know the answer to this and aside from Gruden, I don't know who else I'd want to see with the headset.

I just had to get all of that out of my system. Now I'm going to try and step back from the ledge and the Gruden Train before it derails and kills me.

I just have one request to whom ever accepts the challenge of the Vols head coaching job, "just win, baby!"