Spider 2 Y Banana

Yes, my beloved Tennessee Volunteers are looking for their third head football coach since we said 'hasta la vista' to Coach Fulmer in 2008.

The last five years on Rocky Top have been rocky, to say the least. I'm going to pretend that 2009 season with He Who Shall Not Be Named at the helm was a bad dream.

Since he slithered out into the night, chasing his 'dream job', the Vols had to fill the headset one more time. I remember that winter day in early 2010 when the Vols hired Derek Dooley, from Louisiana Tech. I had no idea who he was and spent most of the day on Google and wiki to see what in the world he had to offer.

Here's what he had to offer, stability. I thankful for a few things Dooley was able to achieve in his three short years in Knoxville. He embraced tradition. Say what you will, but I love those orange pants. He created the Vol For Life program. He used big words in his interviews. He walked into a jumbled mess of a program. He tried to turn us around.

Sadly, that is where he failed. He was able to get a few sure fire athletes to campus, but for one reason or another, couldn't get them to play 60 minutes of football and get the all important W's. And we all know what counts in college football, especially SEC college football. Just win, baby.

On paper, this was the year I believed the Vols would compete for the SEC Championship. We finally had a healthy, semi-deep roster and a schedule that looked to favor us. I fulled believed we would be undefeated going into the Third Saturday of October. I thought Alabama would be our toughest challenge.

Well, this is what happens when you look at the would through orange colored glasses, you get your heart ripped out and stomped on, multiple times. We started the season 2-0, then came those nasty Gators. We were finally ranked and ESPN brought College Game Day to campus. That should have been my first clue. The ESPN kiss of death.

Let me tell you, that week leading up to the Florida game was one of the best weeks to live in Knoxville, in recent memory. The city was covered in extra orange, everyone was in a better mood and we all had hope. Then the game happened. Neyland Stadium was overflowing and loud, we had waited so long for a game like this...then we got in our own way and the wheels fell off....fast.

What I saw in that game was everything I needed to know. We were never going to win with Derek Dooley at the helm. And after that, the L's started to pile on. We had the best offense we've had in years, but oh my gosh, our defense was bad. I mean real bad. And I love a good solid, smash mouth defense. We had a Swiss Cheese defense. I was not a fan of the Sal Sunseri hire, for Defensive Coordinator. For those that know me, you know who I wanted on the sidelines. Period.

But, I digress, the Derek Dooley era came to a swift end after the Vanderbilt meltdown on November 17, 2012. Athletic Director, Dave Hart made it official on Sunday, November 18th. Now, my Vols were officially on the coaching hunt. Names have been flying around for weeks and for the last month, I've let myself get stuck on one, Jon Gruden. Yes, he has UT ties, all be it slim ties, but ties none the less. And he loves Peyton Manning more than I love Peyton Manning and I named my dog after Peyton Manning. I'm hoping Peyton is calling him every week to breakdown plays.

We have Major Money Men who are tired of losing. I fully believe they will, if they haven't already, open their wallets and make it rain on the new head coach. Will they pay enough for Gruden to walk out of the Monday Night Football booth and onto the sidelines at Neyland?

Guess we'll have to wait and see. But with anything else, Gruden hasn't coached a game since 2008, I think. And coaching at the collegiate level is nothing like coaching in the NFL. Can he connect to and coach these kids? Will he stay long term and build a new dynasty or bolt for the next attractive NFL job?

I don't know the answer to this and aside from Gruden, I don't know who else I'd want to see with the headset.

I just had to get all of that out of my system. Now I'm going to try and step back from the ledge and the Gruden Train before it derails and kills me.

I just have one request to whom ever accepts the challenge of the Vols head coaching job, "just win, baby!"

Why to people steal?

That's one think I've never understood, why people steal. I'm not talking about the gum you may have pocked as a child when a parent wasn't looking. I'm talking about breaking into a stranger's (or maybe even someone you know) and willfully taking things that don't belong to you.

This may seem like a random thought, but I found out a co-worker's home was robbed yesterday...at 3:00 PM in the afternoon. Do you know what I was doing at 3:00 PM, I was working, as I'm sure most/all of you were too.

The whole situation makes me sick. My co-worker is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet. He'd do anything for you. Not only that, he has a family and one of his children is afraid to go back in the house. They think the bad guys are coming back. And I hear is dog is traumatized. I don't know of the robbers did anything to the dog, but that's 2 things I can't stand. People that hurt children and animals.

Overall, I'm glad no one was injured, but how can you restore the piece of mind for your family? I hope they catch these yahoo's, but sadly, they probably won't. And what are they going to do with the stuff they took? Repackage it as Christmas gifts or try to sell it? They didn't get anything too "fancy". An iPad, a laptop, a 5+ year old TV, etc.

Here's the lesson of the day, don't steal from my friends. Losers steal. I was raised to pay for the things I want. I want a lot of stuff, so that's why I WORK, to buy it. If you try to steal from me, I will cut you.

That is all.

No Shoes Nation

It's that time of year...the time when Kenny Chesney announces his summer tour dates. He did something a little different this year. He went on air to discuss and reveal the dates live on his No Shoes Radio, online station. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to work, listen to the Erik Ainge Show on my radio and NSR streaming from my phone? What made it worse was, he revealed the dates 1 by one and I that was my busiest day in the office all week!

But let's cut to the chase. He's playing 17 (I think) stadium shows. He's suppose to announce the arena dates later. Since he played Nashville last year, I knew he wouldn't come back this. And I've given up all hope of him coming back to Neyland, well, maybe for his last show, he'd come home.

OK, so you're all wondering which shows I'm going to. Well, for the 3rd straight year, he's going to open and Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, FL. Mom and I will be heading down, provided I can get tickets. This is like our thing...Mom and I hitting up Kenny shows across the country. If he plays Vegas, guess who's going to be there too?

There will be shows in Columbia, SC and Atlanta, GA, but I'm not sure if Eric Church will open those. I know the Zac Brown Band will play those and the one in Minneapolis. I like ZBB, but I saw them 3 times in 2011. I'm good for a minute.

If you noticed I used the word "shows" earlier. Yes, I'm that crazy person that loves live concerts, especially Kenny concerts. I'm eyeballing the show at Fed Ex Field in Landover, MD. But, I'm getting my plans together to hit up the show at Sports Authority Field in Denver, CO.

Why Denver? Aside from the obvious, Peyton Manning might show up, one of my childhood friends lives out there. I haven't seen him in ages and I was suppose to visit a few years ago, but plans had to change. I shot him a text as soon as I heard "Denver, CO" and he replied within minutes. I told me he'd buy my concert ticket and my first 2 beers if I came out to the show.

I almost snorted at my desk, but it was a sweet offer. I told him he didn't have to pick up my concert ticket, but I would take him up on the beer offer. I never pass up free beer!

The Rockies are start a home stand that weekend, so I think we're going to try and hit up a game too. I've always wanted to visit Denver, so this is the perfect opportunity to explore a new city and catch up with an old friend. I'm also excited to meet his fiance. I hear they're planning to tie the knot at a resort in Playa del Carmen in 2014. Would be nice to meet a few more people before I show up and proceed to drink my weight in booze.

I (early) voted...

Yes, it's election day. A day where everyone is a talking head. I'm not going on a political rant, because I hate those. I just wanted to say that I was disappointed I didn't get one of those "I Voted" stickers when I cast my early vote last week.

It may be silly and I know it takes funds out of the budget, but I always wear the sticker if I vote early or early in the day on election day. Why? Because it actually reminds some people to get off their duff and VOTE. 

Kind of silly, but I still wish I got one.

Smokey X

While there is still unrest on Rocky Top, regarding our current and future coaching options, I am confident there will be at least one bright spot on the field next season.

Smokey X will make his debut at the 2013 Orange and White Game. I think the Vols have the cutest mascot  ever. I may be a little partial, but come on, how can you not love this face?

Smokey X

We had a good run with Smokey IX (2004-2013). I hope he'll enjoy this retirement and continue to live the lifestyle of a pampered pooch. He's earned it!